Been so long

So, I know I haven't posted in WEEKS!
1) I've been SOOO busy at work, working at home in the evenings, trying to spend tim with John, and trying to get outside to exercise.
2) I've been doing SOOOO crappy with my weight loss I don't want to admit it to myself.
I've been on points, one meal out the last two Friday nights (chicken fingers and fries) within my flex points, getting 25-30 AP's a week. I can't think of anything else to do. I've been SO frusturated, and down, and obsessive, and sad. I didn't like the way I was handling the situation and how I was feeling.
I've come to terms with my lack of weight loss over the last 3 weeks. I'm still holding out for the extra 0.5 lbs lost so I can officially get to 30 lbs gone. But it's taken forever.
I went through some terrible moods the other week, feeling so hopeless, and failure and only thinking/obsessing about food. It was terrible and I didn't like it (or myself) I'm going to take it with a grain of salt now. I KNOW I'm eating HOPEFULLY!, I KNOW I'm WITHIN my points, I KNOW I'm getting TONS of EXERCISE. I just have no idea why the scale is not budging. I'm trying new foods, new recipes, new breakfasts, lunches. I just want half a pound. I'm not asking for too much.

Other than that, work is AWESOME! I'm getting paid SOOO unbelievably well (especially for still being in school) and the job is SO excited, different. He's given me SO much responsiblity, and jobs to do completely on my own. I'm loving it. If only I could lose weight!
Hopefully I'l see something Friday, I'm worried though if I'm still at 198, I'm going to get really upset again. I really want to keep this ball rolling, too much disappointment and I feel I may quit. and I DON"T want that to happen.

I'm heading to Halifax this weekend!! I'm so excited! luluemon is opening there on Friday and I want to buy myself a 30 lbs reward. (I was hpoing it would be 35 by then, but that's not going to happen). I want to eat REALLY good and be totally on points while away from home and eating out. This weekend will be a very big challenge to myself but I want to do it, and do it right. Last vaction I gave myself permission to eat off plan, I didn't want to bother tracking. But this weekend, I want to be completely on plan, and completly track everything. I'm making it my goal! I also want to have a good weekend shopping, with everything I try on fitting me, and I can buy anything I want because it fits perfectly! I'm really looking forward to the weekend!